Is that kid gonna stop crying and shouting so I can compose and think of the next thing to do? Did I just finished wiping up his butt and headed up to the toilet so I can clean up? Good – that’s just one of those things (maybe a normal responsibility as a parent). Congratulations anyway, now my kid looks good and I had planned to switch that smelly clothes to a new one when I come back from the restroom but here we go again. I came back and little fellow had dropped another poop. There are things I wish my little baby knew. Oh my God – This is stressful, can I just get a straight and uninterrupted sleep for 3 hours?
Babies are wonderful, but you feel a little frustrated when you have to handle some ugly part about them you know. Here I am, ready to trade anything for whoever would give me the strategies to make my little baby understand the following. Yes, anything – and that includes a barrow-full of chocolate, unpublished dancing pen; codedly made in China and a 2 year worth of free fuel in this subsidy time.
Here are the things I wish my little baby knew
1. I am not that harsh and strict. If I understand why you are yelling, then I won’t have to ignore like I don’t care. I am obviously ignorant about what you want. And since you could hardly put your demand into words I can understand, makes it a lot more complex. All I do is make a blind guess about what you might need at the particular moment, and you need to know I may guess wrong a lot of time. Sadly enough, there are so many languages out there and “yelling” is not one. The earlier you start talking, the better for both of us.
2. You don’t have to shout and scream whenever you notice my voice changed. I have to shout on you once in a while to call you to order because you don’t understand my language (our language) yet. Next time I shout on you, keep quiet!
3. Hello kid, keep calm through the night please. 2 or 3:00am is just not a good time to start another trouble with me. I have worked the previous day and that moment is specially meant to rest my head, so please, chill.
4. Enjoy the offer while stock last dear. Take your time to enjoy this very time where you are free of responsibilities. Sure you know I do virtually everything for you – Feed you, bath you, wipe your poop after each round of it. Ok! Just know that immediately I realize you can now differentiate between money and paper, you are done. I am going to apply the DIY principle to the rest aspect too.
5. No one does my beads better, that’s why I sticked to Ramat Oiza Ibrahim. Until I get a new professional on bead making which I doubt I would, kindly go gentle whenever you see them around my neck. Those beads are wonderfully made. Don’t screw them.
6. I’m scared honey. A lot of time, I noticed your concentration on a spot or a moving object and you laugh a lot more during this time. Are you ok, or do you now communicate to a moving object?
7. I need you to give me a signal with “whatever”, whenever you need to poop or vomit. I can’t stand you doing those two over again on my imported Italian rug, and my quality; yet, not so expensive suit which I bought based on the recommendation of my Boss; Hafiz.
8. I go haywire whenever I’m alone; probably one of those times you are at the crèche. Felt really good when I know I don’t have to worry about pampering you to keep quiet before you make your way to bed. I’m more than terrified whenever I think about getting you a sibling as I don’t like to handle this same stress from another version of a “younger you”. And if the troubles you made me go through is a plan of trying to be the only child. Chances are, YOU WIN!
Enough said dear, those are few things I wish my little baby knew. Whatever happens, I still got you as long as you are mine. I can’t be perfect and I am trying hard to learn more strategies to help me understand you better. Bear with me on those little time I made mistakes – those mistakes are bound to happen anyway. I hope we can go to bed now.