Marriage can be sweet, wonderful and have great fun if shared with the right partner, and when precautions are taken to avoid some weird habits that could lead to the collapse of your wonderful union in such regard. But, what if along the line, and after the whole exciting celebration, your partner attitude turned all the way round. Would you quit and join the next moving bus to get to your destination?
No – I bet you won’t!
Below are some dirty habits to avoid; proven to be the top causes and habits that will end your marriage in a blink of an eye.
Dirty Habits That Will End Your Marriage In No Time
1. Trying to hit your husband during argument
It is OK to argue with your spouse once in a while too. You get to know each other mistakes and flaws through arguments so you both can make necessary amendment. Don’t allow a healthy argument lead you to raising hands up against your husband. If you noticed you are getting impatient, and gradually developing the urge to hit him when a difference ensues, take a step backward and keep calm/quiet for a while. No matter how angry he becomes, do not raise voices with him. You would be pushing him out, if for every time he makes you angry, you lose your temper and try to raise your hand.
2. Never compare your husband to another man
Thing is, your husband can not be someone else. Except if he is naturally not hardworking, you can not expect him to be who is not. Mere comparison would only drag your marriage to the mud in no time, and only you will live to regret it. Focus on the best part about him; the few moment he was able to put a smile on your face. If there is one thing you probably don’t like about him, it is time to see him down and talk it out. This way, you are shaping your marriage the way you want it to walk for you, not by imitation.
3. Avoiding s3x
Don’t be among women who decides when to have s3x and when not to. Most women seem to take this part as a favour being done to their husband. A role which I believe most women think they have total control over, thereby doing it at will. This kills marriages faster than Usain Bolt – I am sure. Intimacy is one of the strongest weapon to destroy hatred and anger in marriage. Why is it that couples who fights a lot has this urge to settle whatever differences they had before intercourse? Because they knew it would be useless doing it with a mind full of anger. Not being in the mood always is understandable, but you will be doing it totally wrong if he has to “beg” for it every now and then.
4. Talking negatively about him to a third-party
This is the genesis of the collapse of most marriage. The more you talk about him to other people, the more you get your mind poisoned. Avoid talking ill of your husband to friends, especially when he is not around. People will listen to your story and show remorse, but the truth is they are happy all these things aren’t happening to them but you. However, you need to start thinking how they have being of help ever since you started talking about your home and family. The only contribution they would ever come up with is to show empathy.
5. Trying to keep a clean sheet (no fighting)
There will always be something to argue upon because you are you, and he is a different being too. Because you both share different mind and views, you can not always agree to whatever he places on the table. Also, you can not expect he buys ideas each time you come up with one. Honestly, that is just being human. If for every time he comes up with an idea, you laugh and nod in acceptance even to the detriment of your opinion. That is a way of killing your marriage on a slow motion. You are not going to put up a fight really – No. How about putting on some innocent look and you go like, “dear, I think it might be okay if we go this way”. Place your reasons and let him see reasons why you believed your views would be more favourable to you both. This is one healthy way of saying no, and no man will take this as insult. More so, you get a chance for your opinion to count.
Being addicted to whatever it is totally crappy. Drugs and social medias; gambling and drinking, all amounts to spending less time with your spouse. All these becomes a regular activity you feel needed your attention, just as much as your wife do. For one thing, your bedroom should be device free; especially when with your partner. Sit for while, take a list of the things you value in your marriage. Segregate into two sections; one which is beneficial to your marriage and others which are not. Hey bro, time to ditch the latter.
2. Insufficient communication
Good communication is knowing that your partner is not a magician who doesn’t read the mind. You have to tell her to know what you really want. You may have to do this more than once in order for her to get used to it. By listening and paying attention whenever she has something to say would give you more clues on the things she want. A suggested exercise for couples to facilitate communication is for both couples to sit facing each other. One listens without responding no matter the urge, as the other makes a few statement. This should be repeated till both partners get used to it.
3. Raising voices/ hitting
I know you are the man her; maybe with authority. You want to do all it requires for your voice to be heard, and actions be followed immediately. There are lots and lots of ways to pass your messages across without yelling or raising fists for a fight. Women want calmness, your authority is well understood and it does not require you to lay one finger on her. The boxing training field is filled with bags of different sizes, and you have a variety of choices to make. She is your wife, not a punch bag!
4. She, your priority
You can always maintain your relationship with friends, siblings and parents, but as far as marriage is concern, your spouse comes first. Never give a room for anyone to come between you and your wife. Not even work.