Sometimes, we parents get it wrong by thinking the only way to correct difficult children is by scorning, beating and being strict; whereas, we forget that they are still young, new to this world and most of what they do is fun to them.
Being a parent, our role is to make them realize the consequences of their actions; to correct them when they do things the wrong way (especially when it’s something that seems more questionable than expected). We do this because they are new to this world, and since we have more knowledge about life than them, we stand a better position to offer a rightful guidance and instruction not to go astray.
Our children want us to understand their opinion. They want us to be there for them when they needed us the most. Children are curious to know everything; they are eager to take a risk and do crazy things that would eventually lead them into trouble. Sometimes, we get really pissed trying to correct them repeatedly on the same thing and this is where the love part comes in.
It is faster to get a child’s attention if we don’t take things easily, but their interpretation of what we’re saying will be tinged with things other than love – such as fear or anger. Loving discipline requires us to keep a clear head so that we can talk to our children and reach their hearts as well as their ears.
In this article, I will highlight ways in which you can correct difficult children while using love as a strong weapon, as well as ways to change their mindset without making them feel guilty.
Understand your child
Try to get to know how your child behaves. Is your child an introvert, an extrovert, a melancholy or something similar? This will help you to have a clue on how they view life. For instance, an introvert prefers to stay indoors, like a bit of private life and often prefers to be alone. Not too social, unlike an extrovert who is outgoing, who make friends easily and enjoy hanging out with people. If you acknowledge this, you won’t find it hard to understand the way they behave. Our right as a parent is to guide them on the right path to follow and not to make life complicated for them.
Explain the consequences of their action
Instead of complaining always about your child’s attitude, tell them the consequences of what their behaviour could lead to. For example, a child that stood on the top of a chair might drive you crazy. You know what he is doing is unsafe, so instead of screaming; “don’t stand on the chair like that!” remind them how they might get injured if they don’t stop. Say something like, “you could break the chair and also injure yourself if you don’t come down”. By reminding them of the consequences of their behaviour, you are leaving them to come up with the needed corrections on their own. You didn’t tell them not to stand on top of the chair, you just pointed out what could happen if they continue to stand on the chair.
Another important tip to correct difficult children is to let them know about the rewards in stock if they would neglect the bad things they do. If your child hangs by the TV for so long, being too dirty or your child tells lies often, promise him gift items on the condition that he stops the bad behaviours. What you should promise to buy must be something he cherished so much like toys, games etc. Telling him all these would be an opportunity to get what he desires, and you will soon notice the changes in no time.
Be a good example:
Children see us as role models. They imitate our lifestyle and are easily influenced by what they see or hear. Start living the kind of life you want your child to live.
Frequently complaining about your child’s attitude can make them get wrong impressions, as well as develop great hatred towards you. Hug, motivate your child with calm words and tell them how much you love them. “Hey Harry, I understand you are sorry for the wrong things you do often time, but I want you to know that I love you so much” is a similar instance that might give a heads-up.
Tell them stories
I still remember vividly when I was a kid, our teacher once read to us, a story of a child who has a very bad behaviour and how this led to his destruction. Then, after the story, our teacher would ask; “do you want to be like that child we just read about?”, and we will all shout ‘No!’… We all want to be good children back then, and I guess this has already manifested. It’s easier now to apply this in order to correct and change the moral of your child.
One of the vital reasons we have a family in the first place is to bear children – have someone to play with, to be around, call us daddy, mummy etc. These, to a large extent, give a resounding joy in our heart and make our lives fulfilled.
As a parent, we have a responsibility to take on our children. Applying wisdom will help us to have a well-trained, disciplined child that would be of value to us, the society and the nation as a whole.
About the Author:
Gbemileke Sonde is a Motivational and Self-Development blogger. He is the Founder and CEO of My Coach Article. You can also visit his Facebook page.