Let’s talk about the importance of Infant Bonding, shall we?
Picture yourself having a half-full cup of tea labeled ‘LOVE’. This cup has been half-full from the moment you arrived into this world till the time of reading this second catchy paragraph.
Reason probably because your parents or caregiver were too busy with their own lives, thereby depriving you of that unconditional love needed to fill up the cup.
As you grow up to become adult, you carry your cup along, hoping that someday, someone will come along to fill it up completely.
You have searched for years, engaged in series of relationships to get your cup filled up in whichever way possible.
Inside of you, you know you can’t possible fill up the cups no matter how easy it seems.
At the same time, you don’t want to risk filling it up on your own as you have never been there before.
Definitely, you are bothered from time to time by this weird though running through your head, telling you that you are unlovable or simply inadequate.
From one relationship to another, you continue to carelessly explore for one that will probably compensate you for your lack of attachment and early bonding which your parents or caregiver has refused to give.
Now, every prospect that walks up to you were like “that is your own cup of tea”
Too late – no one is willing to overlook your flaws right now. Imagine!
Every newborn came into this world without the knowledge of who becomes the official owner and controller of their entire existence.
So, irrespective of who invites them to the world, they only care to form a strong bond with whom they grew up to know as their caregiver.
Meanwhile, experts believe that babies have the tendency to create emotional attachment minutes or hours with parents after birth.
Studies also stated that mothers who delivered in the hospital that provided early and extended infant contact in a rooming-in setting would have more positive mother-infant interactions than mothers who delivered at a facility that offered early, but minimal, contact.
This is true, but even at that, there are numerous reasons why infants may not want to form a bond with their parents in some case.
Not all parents know the way to go when it comes to infant bonding, and this is the purpose of this article.
In a research conducted by the University of Bristol in conjunction with Columbia University, after putting all series of data and studies together, concluded that the infant bonding can best be achieved when parents are able to respond to a child in warm, sensitive and responsive ways.
These includes, but not limited to, picking their baby up when she cries, and reassuring that all her needs can be met.
Infant bonding can also be easily formed by merely touching and cuddling. This gives your baby the assurance of being in a safe hand.
Children who are securely attached during infancy tends to be more intelligent, independent, perform better in schools and have a high level of maturity to survive anxiety and depression.
A lot of parents, as further studies revealed do not know what to expect from their newborns, or the perfect way to help them achieve the learning and growth process.
A lot of factors can be held responsible for the situation, so we can really term any one as imperfect parents.
In some parts in Africa; Nigeria precisely, we can trace some of these factors to poverty, unending stress and ignorance.
Other common factors can be the unpreparedness of either parent in question.
For a young mother who arrived at such situation under unforeseen circumstances may have a terrible time to identify what needs to be done to ensure a proper infant bonding.
What can be done to facilitate infant bonding?
Every parents who is ready to make a significant difference with their infant can simply create a strong bond, and at the same time reduce anxiety by simply holding their baby close; comfort her when they cry.
You should form a situation where your little one can trust you for being there when you are needed.
Every other thing comes behind if you are looking at achieving this aim with your infant.
Consequences of not creating a proper infant bonding
Have you ever think of what becomes of a child who lacks parental love during her infant age? What happens if infant does not bond well?
It is a hard time trying to compensate for the loss of not adequately bonding with parents in ones early life.
Because the need to love and be loved has not been met in a child’s early life, it gets more intense to explore happily as the child grows older.
But there is more. Back to our “cup of tea” analysis, it saddens my heart to reveal to you that the only situation to get your cup filled completely is to get your unconditional love during your infant ages back.
This also means turning back the hands of time which even scientist are still unable to achieve.
The reason is obvious…
One fact is certain for someone who falls into a situation like this. No matter how much you love or loved, you will always find a reason to confirm you are not. You are afraid to risk intimacy for fear of rejection.
A recognized international authority on child development, Dr. Bruce Perry writes on the possible causes of infant bonding.
According to him, “Majority of infant attachment problems are likely due to ignorance about development”.
Dr. Perry stressed that with proper public education, the problems attached to bonding with infants can be greatly improved.
The society also has a role to play so as to address the psychology need of the children.
Every parent could be advised to respond quickly to their crying infant, comfort and cuddle them during the first six months of their life.
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