Becoming a dad is easy; very easy. In some cases, it takes less than 10 minutes if you understand where that fact is based. But being a great dad is tough, and this is why you need to learn my guide on how to be a good father to your child. To be a super dad requires a lot of efforts and learning; all designed to help the child grow amidst other several exciting moments. Below guides will make you a great dad in just a moment – trust me.
How to be a good father to your kids
1. Express affection to your child
I need to be straight and harsh on this one, but maybe it is time you drop that “I love you” statement to your child. That has almost become your ringtone for quite sometimes now and if I have the chance to be around when next and before you say that to your baby, I might turn that to my device caller tune too. Fatherhood is beyond that. Babies don’t even understand that phrase – Not at all!
Action speaks louder than words. I have heard that idiom since I was 10. Basically, all you have to do to make your baby understand the “I love you” thing is by showing it. What infants do understand is a soft and loving touch from a man who really wants to join the league of great dads. Extend your affection beyond words. In few simple words, it is simply crappy. Don’t worry about the signs while trying to determine if they feel you love them. When your child sees you after a long time, probably when you return from work, and he makes no move or shows excitements, this might mean you ain’t getting it right yet. The always smiling and happy kids are those who knew they had a great dad. Other ways to demonstrate the affection beyond words include:
A simple hug. You might want to try this before your baby leaves for school in the morning. How about a limited time you have when picking them up after the school time? You probably want to form the habit of giving them a warm hug every now and then. This makes them feel appreciated by their dad.
A soft kiss on your baby’s forehead. All these amounts to an interpretation of love in a way a child will understand.
Making them sit on your laps. This commands the spirit of togetherness. Living with the thought of their father wanting to have them close at all available time makes your kids want to respect you.
Holding their hands while you walk with them. This sends the message that you are always with them; willing to do every possible thing to make sure they are safe. While walking with your child, you should notice how much confidence they have in that period. This should tell you how important the expression of love is, over the crappy three-letter words we hear every day. Lest I forget, even dolls are now programmed with the word “I love you” – So I heard.
2. Appreciate every moment spent with your child
As a reminder, you only have 18 years; beginning from the first day of their birth to prove to be a great dad to them. Whatever you have to do to show them great love – there is a very limited time for it. Like time is more valuable than riches, it is important to keep in mind how it flies. Becoming a great father requires you to spend a lot of time with them. For the ever busy dads, even the shortest time you have to spend with them should be a loving and quality one. You can always make the most out of your time to make sure they know you are available for them. Put your best into being present as much as you can and make sure you are doing this 100% by making sure your mind is equally with them, just as your presence is.
3. Share responsibilities with your wife
As much as I want to be partial by not making an inclusion of it in this article, I suddenly had to make a rethink as this great tips to help you on how to be a good father will seem incomplete. There is no such word as the impossibility, but I might want to make use of that word to justify trying to become a great dad, without being a better and wonderful husband. You would agree with me that this approach is lame without actualizing the latter. Stated clearly in the several ways to assist your wife during pregnancy is another post you should check out. But for the sake of this one, being a dad; a great dad at that, should not limit you to offering a helping hand when your wife is pregnant alone. Responsibilities should be shared to make an impact on the life of your child.
All moms are better handlers than dads in everyday chores at home – Categorically, that generalization is so old and not true anymore. Better off some moms, I am pretty good in most areas you think women are great handlers to. Step up your game as a loving husband while trying to rank for being a good father. Don’t become deaf at night like you don’t hear the sound of your crying baby. Once in a while, you should surprise your spouse by attending to your child at midnight. She would be happy to see you doing that. She wakes up and found you fully engaged in a role believed to be a “woman’s duty” – That is something.
Seriously, I never would want to do this alone if I were to be in the position of my wife. This is why I strongly advise you make a decision now when the time is right.
Nevertheless, this part is important while trying to share responsibilities. As much as I like to make you share every responsibility to make things easy for the family, it is pretty much better to remind you that the breastfeeding part remains the duty of your wife – I hope you thank me later for this great reminder though.
4. Treat your child the same way you wished you were treated when you were at his age
Take a pause for a moment and flashback to see if you can remember how you were treated by your parents when you were young. Imagine if you had the opportunity to go back to being a little child, and you were to tell your parents how you love to be treated, as well as everything you want them to provide for you. Try making a list of those things; study them for some time and see if you can meet up to some. The idea is to provide all these for your own child. Chances are, they equally want the same treatment you just listed. The only difference is that it was you making the choices for them – an unbiased choice. If you happened to be a victim of not getting the much fatherly love you expected, now you have a chance to make them up to your own child, by being the most loving and understanding father. Once this is achieved, you can boldly stand tall right in front of you dad and boldly say to him “I can do this better”.
5. Take time to understand what your child wants
My experience with my child had made me understand that little kids better want their dads around most. It has since been working for me and has worked great for quite a number of friends I recommended the strategy to. Take your time to understand what each child wants. Generally, and base on my own experience with my son, I understand what they want most is your time and your presence. During the time when my little kid was still struggling with words, I was able to understand, that he wants me to listen to his “blah and blah”.
Little did he know that I don’t understand either, but I tried as much as possible to help say aloud what I guess to be the right interpretation. He was a smart kid. If I don’t get the right message, he understands through my move that I am doing the wrong thing. A tit-for-tat situation as both learns. Basically, and incase you don’t know, kids who have their dads around them are always staying out of troubles. Soon, they generally adapt to the practice of staying out of trouble even when you are not around.
6. Stick to, and maintain the good part of You
Actually, it is not always about what you tell your child to do when teaching in them basic morals and values. Instead, it is more about what they watch you do, and that is also how they learn. Smoking and drinking; clubbing and all that will only damage the life of your kid. Nourish and maintain the good part about you and that should only be the things you like him to repeat.
7. Make a memory of the most exciting moment with your family
I know you are a busy dad. But a little time out of your busy and tight schedule should be dedicated to family. Attend events together, and seize that moment to show some fatherly love to your child. The part I love so much is making hilarious videos. I always make videos of our most exciting moment, especially during weekends when I have a lot of time to share with my family. My wife and I would play with our child and make a video of the moment. Our little boy prefers to hold the camera quite a number of times as he gets more excited to see himself appear on the phone screen. There is one I love so much where my little boy held my nose in a funny way. All thanks to the sharp front camera feature on my phone. The look on his face was so loving and exciting, and I was excited too.
8. Allow them to make decisions
Just like everyone else, kids love to make decision, and it is just one of the good favours you might be doing by letting them be. You should from time to time help examine the decision they make and help them realize it once confirmed to be a healthy one. Yes, teaching your child to be submissive to your authority requires some strict decisions, but teaching them to make positive and healthy decisions works better.
9. Learn the Art of Patience
The key to the success of every relationship and marriage is patience. You would agree with me that once in a while when we lose our temper, the best and working practice is to exercise a little patience. This creates an ample time to help figure out the best option to utilize for a lasting solution. The one I learnt from my dad was how he keeps mute or better still; walk away when he is angry. He was very careful not to use any false or harsh word to mom. While trying to become a good father, you don’t want to risk shouting at your wife whenever a slight argument turned sour, especially in the presence the kids.
10. Read to your child when you have the chance
This, I do before my boy goes to bed at night, or whenever I run out of ideas of the appropriate song to sing for him so he could sleep. When you read to your child often, he equally grows to learn and understand that reading is a wonderful practice. That is a plus while shooting for how to be a good father and mentor for your child.
If you can teach your children by showing them, that having a great family of shared responsibilities, and maintaining an ever joyfully and healthy marriage is what a great dad could be, then you can call it a success. Maybe you wouldn’t have to search further on how to be a good father to your child.